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Online Dating Advice: Ask the Right Questions First

OK.  So you’ve joined an online dating service and written an awesome profile.  You’ve uploaded a great picture and now you’ve gotten a few emails, and you’re getting ready to respond.  But what now?  How do you start weeding through those responses who have real potential and those who would be a waste of time?

You need to find out about who this strange person really is and not what they want you to believe they are.  It would be great if people wore labels like “Gold Digger”, “Daddy’s girl” or  “Scam Artist” etc., but they don’t. So it’s up to you to find out these things and you can’t just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this person if you decide you want to do that.

After you get past the initial small talk, ask them “What are the biggest mistakes guys/girls make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to the answers.  Their going to tell you a lot about themselves and their views in general, probably more than you asked for, but you will find out a lot.

Next you should ask them, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now they will usually tell you if they’ve had any bad experiences with dating online and help you to avoid making the same mistakes as previous dates.

Now for the all-important question, ”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If he/she puts all the blame on the other person, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If he/she takes all the blame him or herself, you should probably do the same.  If he/she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution.

People who Place All the Blame, may not be willing or capable of looking at themselves or their part in the situation. So you would be dating someone who “Has no faults” or is clueless about themselves or having an open and honest mind. People who Take All the Blame can have low self esteem issues and probably don’t see the situation for the way it really was, and probably have a distorted sense of self.

Asking the right questions will give you insight, possibly open your own eyes and make you more confident when you meet the person for the first time.